Keep your Hands Off My Burger! (or How Beating a Dead Horse is Still Better than Shooting It.)

Seeing as this is my first blog, I was really excited about writing my first entry. I had planned to include a little explanation as to why I finally decided to give it a shot (many who know me, know that I have never been thrilled with the blog medium,) and what I though I could accomplish by writing one of these. 

Then, last Friday, 12 people were killed in Aurora, Colorado during the opening of the latest Batman movie, The Dark Knight Rises. With a heavy heart (or perhaps because of it,) I felt compelled to write a reflection on the Aurora tragedy, (which you will find below,) rather than writing a review of HBO’s The Newsroom or talking about the state of the Union in the face of the upcoming elections (or some other light-hearted subject like that.)

   Keep your Hands off My Burger! (or How Beating a Dead Horse is Still Better than Shooting It.)

I think we can all agree that what happened on Friday in Colorado was a tragedy. It doesn’t matter on what side of the gun control debate you stand, I think we all mourn the deaths and sympathize with all who were hurt physically or emotionally. Most of us, sane people, have strong feelings toward James Holmes, the alleged gunman in the theater. Some people, I'm sure, hate him. I have also heard from others who expressed sorrow for this person who is so unfathomably off the deep end.

The very morning of the murders I was approached by people who complained about what this would mean for our second amendment right; how this would eventually become one more excuse for liberals (or whatever) to try and ban guns (or whatever,) and we could eventually lose our right to defend ourselves by shooting people in the face should the need arise or should the government decide we are now a colony of Star Trek’s Vulcan (we wish!) 

I also heard from people on the other side of the barrel who vehemently argued that we should sort of do what Superman did in The Quest for Peace: tie up all existing firearms into a big net with a bow and throw them into the sun (in the movie it was all existing nuclear weapons, but it was the 80’s, and also, Superman is awesome like that.)

 I, personally, don’t believe in guns. Their only purpose is to kill. I don't think that's amusing. I think killing anything is very serious business.

Some would argue that guns don't kill; people kill. To me that's like saying the solution to the AIDS epidemic is to ban sex because, you know, it is people having sex that spread it. Now, that may be a little bit of a faulty analogy, but the fact is we can't solve a problem if we choose to ignore some of the variables or focus on the wrong ones. 

On the other hand, no one can deny that in a world where guns didn't exist, people would have to kill each other with baseball bats, or broomsticks, or knives, or frying pans, or… kindness. 

I know what you're probably thinking at this point: "Hey buddy! This is America! The Constitution says I can cuddle up with my M-16 every night and if you don't like it, don't let my tank's door hit you in the ass on the way out!" And you know what? You are abso-doodlely-diddley right!

The Second Amendment  does protect your right to bear firearms (and use them to shoot bears.) We could sit here and argue over the interpretation and definition of Militia or how this was written at a different time, but instead, we'll let these guys beat that dead horse.

Beyond the gun control debate, however, I believe it is essential that we all be mindful of the degree of detachment with which people tend to talk about killing other people. If you think that someone could have stopped James Holmes if only they had been armed, let me remind you that this is not a video game or a movie. 

Most people are not prepared or trained to act in the event of a random shooting, in spite of having lawful permission to carry a firearm. Even if you frequently practice at a fire range, the nature of the situation and the inherent confusion and anxiety, pose other challenges (not the least of which is that you are not a cowboy from the 1850's.)

During the shooting of Arizona representative Gabrielle Giffords in January of 2011, two armed civilians in the crowd were either afraid to act (fearing they would be mistaken for the gunman) or they almost shot the wrong person amid the confusion. Giffords herself owns a gun, and Judge John M. Roll, who was killed during the incident, had taken lessons at the Marksman Pistol Institute. In the end, someone stopped the shooter by hitting him with a folding chair

Now, if we take the position that we shouldn't outlaw guns because the Bill of Rights forbids it, couldn't we at least agree that there needs to be a better screening, training, and tracking process for the sale and distribution of guns, ammo and military materials? After all, you will concede that guns in the hands of the wrong people, do kill people (so, shouldn't we make sure that the wrong people don't have legal access to guns?) If you're a law-abiding citizen and not crazy, you shouldn't have a problem.

Also, if you want access to military equipment why don't you just join the military and serve your country? (I hear they need people right now.) After all, you are a civilian, you shouldn't have access to military stuff, anyway.

On second thought, if you really think the government of the most powerful nation on Earth is going to turn against its people so badly that you need to arm yourself militarily to shoot and bring down the very government you elected (hey, you call it Militia, civilized nations call it a coup,) maybe you are the one that we should be screening for.